Maybach Financial -- Boiler Room?

In my never-ending quest for information on companies I might want to invest in, I happened across an independent broker research firm called Maybach Financial the other week. I signed up as a member to get access to some of their analyst reports on companies I already own and am thinking of buying, reasoning taht the more information I have, the better off I am, regardless of the source.

The fact that membership didn't cost anything was a huge red flag flag to begin with, but I figured there was no harm in trying. After about 20 minutes of surfing through their bare bones site (no search engine? what's that about?) I gave up and pretty well put the company out of my mind.

Until yesterday. My phone rang in the middle of the afternoon, and on the other end of the line was 'Dennis' from Maybach Financial, calling to see if I'd received all the information I wanted from the Maybach site. At this point, I'm assuming this is some sort of customer satisfaction survey -- until the conversation took a turn for the extremely suspicious.

It soon became clear what was going on. After some chit chat on the companies I had signed up for information on, Dennis launched into a sales pitch for a company called American Exploration Corp., a pink-sheet listed junior resources company. I don't tend to dabble in penny stocks -- particularly not resource companies with more exploration rights than actual mining operations -- so it seemed like an odd pitch to an investor who tends to go for multinational financial and infrastructure firms. But Dennis was not to be dissuaded.

"We're really high on the company," Dennis explained. "The stock's currently trading in a range between 8 and 9 cents, but we could easily see it in the 40-cent range very soon."

Thanks for the tip, Dennis, but no thanks. 

But ol' Dennis doesn't give up without a fight.

"The thing is," (he's basically whispering at this point, just for effect,) "the company has some news coming out soon so now is definitely the time to act on this. We've been talking to their head geologist and they definitely have some huge finds that they're about to release. I'm giving you this information because I think it's the kind of investment an investor such as yourself is interested in."

The large red warning flags in my head have, by this point, been upgraded to a giant, 12-storey neon sign flashing "PUMP AND DUMP SCHEME" with the entire sign resting atop a 60-foot blimp, made out of fire. With lasers.

After politely excusing myself from the conversation, I resolve to do a little digging around on both Maybach and American Exploration, since, you know, unsolicited investment advice from anonymous sources doesn't seem to me to be the sort of thing that legitimate companies do for a living, but what do I know: I'm just some shmuck with a website.

There may well be some honest explanation for all this, but based on my initial research in Maybach, I'm having a hard time seeing what it is. I'd welcome an explanation from the company (or anyone else out there) as to what the hell that was. Has anyone out there had any dealings with this? Or something similar?

In the meantime, I'm reminded of a clicheed lesson -- when it comes to free investment advice, you often get what you pay for.

Safe to say, I don't recommend anyone signs up for any product whatsoever from Maybach. I think a call to the company's consumer relations line -- if not the SEC -- is warranted.

New job

I normally like the nomadic nature of my dying industry, in that in provides me with a built-in opportunity to try new things and develop my skills, but I can't deny that there isn't a fair amount of nervousness to be had as one contract runs out and I don't know where and when the next one begins.

After a diligent month of letter-bombing the city with my resume and mining every contact I have that isn't nailed down, it seems I've once again managed to land on my feet, and secure another year of gainful employment. I'm particularly excited about the fact that for the first time, I'm getting away from the dead-tree medium and moving exclusively into the world of online journalism. (There's a distant, distant chance this might turn into an opportunity to blog about finance/investing and get paid for it, but that's very nebulous at this point...)

Besides the duties (which I'm quite excited about) my new job has the added bonus of coming with a not insignificant raise from what I've been earning so far -- to the tune of about 17%, before taxes. As my cousin Jacques might say, "ne pas too shabby."

I'm a big believer in the principle that good financial habits can build into big things over time, and as such, I've been able to build a decent little nest egg over the last few years, without really sacrificing too much of the fun that life has to offer. Currently, as soon as my paycheque comes in, about 25% of my gross salary goes directly into my PC Financial high interest savings account, which functions as a sort of catch-all account until I divert it into other things (RRSPs, Visa bills, big purchases, or whatever.)

It's a system that's worked quite well for me so far, so the obvious answer to the question of what to do with these new funds might be to increase the amount I divert into that account. But I have a different idea.

I think I'm going to keep my PC account as a legitimate long-term savings and investing fund, and open another high-interest savings account (or possibly just dust the cobwebs off of my fallow ING Direct account -- I haven't checked if their rates have gotten any more competitive) to be my designated "fun" account.

I think putting that psychological barrier between the accounts will be a good thing. The new account will be the one I dip into for the vacations, gifts and *cough* plasma televisions I'm thinking about getting over the next 12 months.

At any rate, big things and good news in GIV-land. 

For the time being :)

Kicking the tires -- Sherritt International (S:TSX)

What with the cash piling up in my savings account, it's about time for me to make another RRSP contribution, so I've been doing some digging, looking for a suitable stock to buy into. I'm liking what I see about resource company Sherritt International, (ticker symbol S on the TSX). I see a lot to like about the company, and some things that raise my eyebrows a little, so I thought I'd post a few thoughts here for my clever readership to see and try and get some feedback on my thought process. My apologies if you're numbers-averse.

WHAT I LIKE

• It's a resource story. Sherritt's business basically divides into four units, listed here in order of size, in terms of percentage of sales -- Metals, Oil/Gas, Electricity, and Coal. Outside of a few token trusts and dividend-paying energy companies buried in my dividend ETF (CDZ on the TSX) I don't really have much of a resource presence in my portfolio -- rare for a Canadian investor. I've been underweight for a while, looking for an entry point into the space in general. I know it's impossible to time the market, but what with oil having retreated significantly from its July high of $147, I figure now' s as good a chance as any to jump in. Most commodities have seen a similar decline in value over the last several months, and nickel (66% of which goes into the production of stainless steel) is a major part of Sherritt's business. In the spirit of buying high and selling low, I figure my odds are pretty good at the moment. Whether it's the right firm inside the sector remains to be seen.
  

• It's international, and diversified across several industries. With a number of operations across the country, the Toronto-based company obviously has a strong Canadian presence. But things like power plants in Cuba, offshore oil patches in Spain, gas operations in Pakistan and nickel mines in Madagascar give me a little more international exposure as Canada's economy shows signs of slipping into recession.
  

• A whole bunch of the company's fundamentals look really, really good right now. Consider a few of them. Over the past five years, Sherritt has boosted its profit by an average of 36% per year. Consensus estimates expect further earnings growth in the next two fiscal years. In June, Sherritt was the only company in Canada to earn an A grade both as a value stock and a growth stock by MoneySense magazine. The company pays a dividend (albeit a small one) and it's growing. The company's book value (basically, the floor price that the company would be worth if they sold off all their assets individually) is somewhere between $12-$13, analysts say (sorry I can't link to the reports). Considering Sherritt currently trades at under $9 a share, a price/book value of about 0.75 makes me positively giddy. Of the seven analysts who cover the stock, all rate it a "buy" with target prices ranging from $15.50 to $21 -- not that I put too much faith in analysts who basically get paid to convince clients to buy stocks.
  

WHAT I DON'T LIKE

• The Cuba 'thing'. Sherritt does more business in Cuba than many firms, and I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I like that they have the courage to go against the flow, but I have to question the wisdom of a company that basically flips the bird at the U.S., the world's largest economy, and does business in Cuba. Sherritt's had a huge presence on the island for years, and it shows no sign of pulling out any time soon. I suspect Washington's trade embargo can't go on forever, and god knows what will happen when Raul Castro dies and/or steps down. Sherritt could be better-positioned than anyone to hit the ground running on the influx of money that would result. Or not, and maybe Washington will carry a grudge. Even before Cuba opens up, who's to say they wouldn't go back to their more totalitarian tendencies and start seizing assets, Chavez-style. I have no idea, and uncertainty like that is not generally something I like in the companies I own

• The stock has been a ski-hill downward for the last month. Normally, I don't care about things like that unless it's a stock I want to sell, but the scope is quite drastic. Since reporting a 39% dip in profit (largely due to tanking nickel prices) at the end of July, Sherritt stock has gone on to lose more than 50% of its value. A collapse like that hardly seems appropriate just because of a profit blip. What am I missing? I like buying things cheap, but am I trying to catch a falling knife?
  

• Insider trading, going in the wrong direction. This one leaves a real bad taste in my mouth. According to filings, independent company director Daniel Owen owned more than 2,000,000 Sherritt shares in March, worth some $18-million. But Owen dumped more than half of his stake throughout August. And that was after the bad earnings release. Does he know something I don't? Probably...

Anyway, that's the basic picture as I see it today. Nothing imminent, but it's certainly a stock I can't seem to get out of my head. Ironically, I'd be more sold on buying the stock if Mr. Market hadn't just given it a 50% haircut. It's often hard to go against the herd.

labours of love

In honour of everyone's favourite excuse to pass out while swatting mosquitoes with an empty bottle of Moosehead Tragically Hip CD, a cornucopia of labour-themed links for you all this Labour Day.

• An interesting feature in FP on how unions are slowly but surely losing some of their influence in Canada.

• But reports of the death of labour might be greatly exaggerated. Outgoing CAW president Buzz Hargrove disagrees, for one.

• As most of the world's economy wobble close to recession, signs are trickling out of China that that country's roaring economy is even starting to slow down. The latest numbers predict single-digit growth in China's GDP this year. One of the culprits? Increasing costs for transportation, energy, raw materials and -- you guessed it -- labour. Should be interesting to see how China responds as their inherent manpower advantage is slowly eroded away over the coming years.

• Ontario college students are breathing a sigh of relief as it appears a potential strike by support workers starting this semester appears to be off, for now, as the union and the colleges have struck a tentative deal.

That's it. Unlike most of the 30% of Canadians at work today, I get paid triple time to be on the Internet today. But you? You have no excuse. Put down the iPhone, have another beer and think about fixing the lawnmower, already.

Subprime synergism

The always well-done Sunday New York Times business section offered me two great reads this week. That they're actually related to each other is even better.

First, actor and author Ben Stein offers a little perspective on the unfolding subprime mortgage crisis.

The 10-cent version? Yes, a lot of people were too eager and too greedy in conjuring qualified mortgagees out of thin air. But that's not the whole story -- "subprime mortgage" doesn't deserve to be a dirty word, since the financial vehicles allowed a large number of people to do what is, at its essence, a very good thing: buy and keep their own homes. Subprime mortgages represent about 10-15% of all U.S. mortgages, and so far, about 10-15% of subprime mortgages have gone into default. The unraveling is going to be painful, but let's not pretend that every single U.S. homeowner has suddenly stopped paying off his mortgage, Stein writes.

Not that there aren't pockets of truly astounding real estate implosions across the U.S.A. as this excellent feature on real estate in Merced, Calif. by David Streitfield shows. A suburb of San Francisco, Merced's an excellent microcosm for the worst aspect of the U.S. housing boom, and serves as a cautionary tale of what might be to come. Prices are down about 50% from their 2005 peak. This bleak quote is probably the piece's money shot:

With as many as 2.5 million homes in the United States entering foreclosure this year and, at best, sales of only 5 million existing houses, the foreclosure price is becoming the rule in many areas. In Los Angeles County, whose 10 million people make it the most populous county in the United States, a third of the sales are foreclosures.

How is this all going to play out? I have no idea. But like anything else, I think the reality will be somewhere in between the outcomes predicted by the sky-is-falling doomsayers and the "everything is fine...keep shopping" optimists.

Extreme makeover: Foreclosure edition

Not much I can really add to the story that a house built in 2005 for a down-on-their-luck family on the TV show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition has gone into foreclosure.

The four-storey mini-mansion, built for the Harper family with the help of 1,800 volunteers and residents from Lake City, Georgia, will be auctioned off to the highest bidder on August 5th. The house was used as collateral for a $450,000 loan that went into default.

Sad, really. Obviously in retrospect, it's not always the greatest idea to shower people in dire financial straights with windfalls like this because they don't always know how to handle it, but this whole story also says some particularly sad things about the worsening state of the U.S. economy in general.

Thoughts on the wireless spectrum auction

Much as I'd love to believe Industry Minister Jim Prentice's claims that the recent auction of new wireless spectrum is going to revolutionize the industry in Canada by giving consumers more choice for less money, I don't.

Whether you're one of those early adopters willing to pay Rogers' exorbitant rates to get your hands on the iPhone, or just a Luddite shelling out a $7.95 "system access fee" on your no-option phone for no good reason every month, it should be painfully clear that Canadians pay more than almost anyone else in the world to use cellphones.




The CBC's handy iPhone index calculates that Canadians will pay a minimum of $2,572 over three years to use the new iPhone, under Rogers' cheapest plan. That's well over the global average, and almost three times as much as the basic plan's costs in Switzerland, for example.

I think it's great that new entrants like Quebecor, Shaw, and Yak have bought tiny slices and will presumably soon be rolling out service plans in the near future. I have especially high hopes for Yak because they run a GSM network (currently Rogers is the only one, which explains the iPhone exclusivity) and they've been a genuinely cheap alternative in conventional long distance and Internet service.

But the cynic in me finds it hard to believe that Yak, for example, is going to be particularly motivated to undercut the Big Three's prices after they've just dug themselves a $423-million hole just to get in the game in the first place. The whole thing looks like an oligopoly to me.

I'm trying to be optimistic, but we'll see how this plays out.

As for what Ottawa should do with the $4.5-billion windfall, I normally hate the knee-jerk partisan bitching that usually comes out of the opposition no matter who's in charge, but I find myself nodding in agreement with Liberal critic Scott Brison's suggestion that some of the money should be used to bring high-speed Internet to remote northern and rural communities.

BCE -- too good to be true?

I did something very unlike me this morning -- I bought a stock that I have absolutely no intention of owning for more than a little while, for no other reason than its price is too low and bound to be higher in the very near future. Crazy, I know. But there's a catch...

The stock? BCE, one of Canada's best-known, and oldest companies. Not exactly your typical candidate for a speculative flyer.

I've been sitting on the sidelines, watching the BCE drama unfold as the buyers who pledged to take the company private and the bankers who promised to loan to them bickered with bondholders and stockholders eager to make sure they get their pound of flesh.

For a while, it was looking like the whole thing was about to blow up as bankers who greenlit the sale when times were good, had second thoughts at the price they had promised to pay once times went bad and world stock markets were tumbling. The original deal was that BCE would be taken private at $42.75 a share. But due to the uncertainty and the sabre-rattling of bondholders who were leery at the amount of debt that was being taken on, the stock lagged as low as $33 not that long ago.

A few weeks ago, Canada's top court essentially approved the deal, at the original price of $42.75, and all sides appear to be appeased. Which is why I've been curious about why the stock continues to stagnate below that $42.75 level. It closed at $39.64 on Friday, roughly 8% below what Teachers & Co. have promised to buy it for.

"That's more than $3 below the agreed-upon - and now confirmed - takeover price of $42.75. That's easy money for investors who are willing to wait until December to cash out," The Globe's David Berman wrote in his marketblog on Friday.

That description sounds like me, so I picked up 100 shares of BCE this morning. Thanks to a broad-based market rout, BCE slipped even further today, and I paid $39.40 per share. That's 8.5% below what the stock's going to sell for in the fall, so I'm having a hard time seeing the downside. Sure, there's still a microscopically small chance this could all far apart, but when things have been elevated to the level where the Supreme Court of Canada is stepping in, I think that's a pretty solid foundation to build an assumption on.

I won't get any dividends as they've been suspended to help finance the deal, but in this market, 8.5% for owning a stock for 4-5 months is a gain I can live with.

Darts and laurels

When you work in the media (and by association, hang out with journalists) while also being one of those weird people who actually enjoys talking about financial topics, it makes two things more likely to happen. No. 1, the odds that your drunken ramblings might ever see the light of mainstream publication are infinitely increased. And No. 2, how they're received is likely to be all over the map...

I'm "in the news" (so to speak) a couple of times at the moment, and I figured I'd be remiss if I didn't point my loyal readers (Hi mom!) toward the fruit of my overactive brain.

My good friend Andrea is under the mistaken impression that I somehow know what I'm talking about when it comes to financial topics, so she's enlisted me to answer a few basic questions about opaque financial topics on her new financial blog, Unspending. This week, we're talking about net worth: what is it, and why does it matter. This may or may not become a recurring feature, since believe it or not, there's few things I enjoy more than chatting about things like personal finance. So if Andy's pleased with the results, expect more topics to be discussed in a rough Q&A format over there. So far, the early reviews of my thoughts appear to be positive.

But clearly, that's not a universal view. Another friend, who works at the Toronto Star, has been writing an 8-part series about the process of jumping into the real estate market for the first time. I'm something of a contrarian when it comes to real estate, as my B.S.-detector tends to go into overdrive when I'm at a cocktail party and overhear someone bragging about how "you can't lose money in real estate." At any rate, Robyn and I have been having an ongoing debate about Toronto real estate for a few weeks now, the distilled version of which, it turns out, is the focus of her series' final installment: Home, Sweet Home.

As impossible as it is to poke holes in such air-tight financial advice (from a financial advisor, no less) as "never pay off your mortgage," the point I was trying to make isn't so much that real estate is a bad investment, but more that it's quite often a good idea to at least question the conventional wisdom of the massive financial move you're making -- not to mention that 40-year mortgages might not be your best friend.

No matter. Though I'm clearly the villain of the piece, it's all in good fun. And I doubt it'll be the last time anyone takes mock umbrage with something I say.

Welcome to the jungle

A very warm pfblog welcome is in order for my good friend Andy's brand-spanking new personal finance blog, unspending. Andy's a twentysomething who's decided to face up to her financial life before it gets out of her control.

She's a self-described financial newbie, but expect well-written posts on budgeting and saving while she finds the right balance in her financial life. She's starting with the basic ABCs of finance (like we all do) but I've no doubt she'll be cranking out 3,000-word odes on ABCP, P/E ratios, EBITDA, the BRICs and ETFs before long. :)

Unspending's barely more than a weekend old, and she's already taken the fantastic first step of realizing that paying bank fees is death by a thousand cuts.

Read her. Welcome her. Add her to your blogroll.

Five secrets

Inspired by Blatantly ripping off Canadian Capitalist's list of his five favourite financial secrets, I thought I'd bang out my Top 5 for you all, in no particular order.

1 -- Live below your means
I know it can be hard to pay off all your bills every month, let alone put aside a little extra for a rainy day. But I'm constantly amazed by the gains that can be had from living just a little bit below your means. Whether it's $5 a day, or $20 a week or whatever, the benefits of seeing that little buffer zone in one's chequing account and not immediately blowing it are immeasurable. I'm lucky enough right now that my situation allows me to put aside something in the neighbourhood of a quarter of my paycheque into a savings account. I know that won't always be the case as things like mortgages and kids come along, but for now, I'm socking it away while the socking's good. I don't advocate denying yourself the things you truly enjoy in life. But you'll be amazed how culling the meaningless expenses from your life can add up to big financial gains without hitting your standard of living. Try spending 10% less this month than you did last month and see how fast it adds up.

2 -- Don't pay needless fees
This one is a biggie for me. I'm quite happy to spend money on the things that are truly important to me, and I don't even make myself feel guilty for doing so when I do. But if there's one thing that I derive absolutely no pleasure from whatsoever it's the dozens of bank fees/convenience charges/system access fees/ticket surcharges that nickel and dime us all to death every month. I had a conversation with a friend recently about bank fees, the gist of which was -- in today's day and age there is no reason to pay bank fees. None. Whether it's PC Financial, ING Direct or another fringe player, get to know them, and don't take your current bank's B.S. a day longer than necessary. Use them. Love them. Another friend somehow managed to spend an amazing $47 in on month on bank fees one month a few years ago, I surmised when we looked at one of his bank statements. That's astounding! $47! Remember that the next time you're convincing yourself, drunk in a bar, that the $2 service charge to use the white label ATM in the lobby is somehow 'worth it.'

3 -- Make it automatic
As per item #1, the easiest way to make sure you'll have a little left over at the end of the month, is to make it automatic. Don't put whatever you have left over at the end of the month into savings, because we both know there won't be any left over. At least, there certainly wasn't when I tried to do it that way. Move the money you put into savings up in your priority list by setting up an automatic withdrawal. I get paid every Thursday morning, at midnight. At 12:01 a.m., my savings account gets a deposit out of that, forcing me to live off the rest. Obviously, I dip into it from time to time as circumstances require it. But just by putting in in there at step 1 (as opposed to step 17) I make it much more likely to stay there.

4 -- Don't always follow the herd
Sometimes, the herd is going in the right direction. But not always. There's a word for the act of going against the grain in investing circles -- it's known as being a contrarian. Most of the world's greatest investors built their wealth by doing precisely what everyone else isn't doing. Sometimes, that means closing your eyes and buying when everyone else is selling. Even outside any investment decisions, stop and reflect on why, exactly, you're doing the things you do, or buying the things you buy. Use your head: "Why am I doing this? What benefit am I getting out of this? Could I be better off doing something else?"

5 -- Keep your goals in mind
A little more nebulous, but still just as helpful, I've found. It isn't always the easy thing to deny yourself some treat, or stick to a plan. One thing I've found works quite well is to visualize what exactly you're working for. You're a lot more likely to stick to your savings plan when you can imagine the car you're saving for, or the dream home you want, than just blindly saving every cent, without ever having a concept of a reward for it. Any time I'm tempted to go off the rails, I think of the things that really matter to me, and how inconsequential everyday sacrifices (like bringing coffee from home, for example) gets me closer to them.

Those are my 5. What are yours?

Rubbernecking the Biovail car crash

Despite the fact that I've washed my hands of my stake in the company, I must admit I'm watching the drama going on at Biovail keenly.

I laid out my reasons for selling my Biovail stake pretty well, I think, but who doesn't love a good power struggle? Especially when someone like Eugene Melnyk is involved, a man who seems to leave a trail of carnage in his wake.

I have no idea which management team is better-suited to turn around the fortunes of what was once Canada's largest drug company.

But it's riveting stuff to watch. The fact that I don't have a horse in the race any more makes it even more enjoyable.

Bank earnings recap

Another earnings season for Canadian banks has come and gone, and the credit crisis picture doesn't appear to be getting any clearer.

Results were a bit of a mixed bag. Scotia, Royal, BMO, TD and National Bank all saw their profits dip a little, while CIBC squatted down and unloaded yet another $1-billion loss for the quarter. The bank that I own, BMO, didn't exactly knock my socks off, but based on analyst and shareholder reaction, the news was not quite as bad as it could have been (or indeed has been in recent quarters) so I took their numbers as muted good news.

All in all, though, we're not out of the woods yet. When a bank like Royal, which has so far managed to keep its hands pretty clean in the subprime mess, starts announcing hundreds of millions of dollars worth of writedowns, it's clear this isn't over.

Banks are as good a proxy for the economy as a whole as anything, so today's news that the Canadian economy actually contracted during the first quarter shouldn't be much of a surprise.

I have no idea how all of these credit problems are going to play out, but it's clear they haven't worked their way through the system yet.

Blogroll update

Slowly getting around to updating my blogroll on the right hand side of the page.

I must admit, I was embarrassed to discover that I hadn't already linked to these blogs, as I've been reading them all for a while. Still, it's never too late to throw someone a little link love.

Nancy Zimmerman's blog can be found here. Nancy's a Vancouver-based money coach (NOT a financial planner, she'd hasten to add) who wants to engage Canadians to take care of their financial health. Sounds like an admirable goal to me. The fact that she works for Citizens Bank of Canada is another feather in her cap, as far as I'm concerned.

Wooly woman's blog is more debt-related (as opposed to investing, I mean) and even though I've managed to sidestep a lot of major debt pitfalls so far in my young life, I still find blogs like hers inspiring and informative.

Strictly speaking, JanePlain is a Canadian, which is why she gets primo placement in my coveted blogroll. :) But she's actually an ex-pat living on the West Coast, in silicon valley I believe, in a high-tech, high-paying industry, in an expensive city. Those are several things I have no frame of reference for, which goes part of the way toward explaining why I find her blog so interesting. Hers is such a different perspective from my own, yet we seem to think alike. Hers is one of the newest personal finance blogs I've stumbled upon, but I like what I see so far. And speaking of California, I'd like to share the funniest description I've ever heard of silicon valley. My sister, upon returning from a trip to San Jose/Cupertino, was asked how it felt to live in a part of the world with such a high percentage of single, successful bachelors. Her synopsis? "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."

I'm sure she probably ripped that off from somewhere, but it always made me laugh.

At any rate, welcome to the newbies and blog veterans alike. I've heard rumours that a good friend of mine who recently discovered my blog is thinking about starting a pf blog of her own (hint, hint) to help get her financial house in order. I hope she does. There's a space waiting on my blogroll whenever she does.

Tipping the scales

Gratuities. They're popular fodder in a lot of financial blogs, with opinions raining in on all sides with personal takes on the fundamental question -- who gets it, and how much.

Me? With apologies to Malcolm Gladwell (and Mike from Four Pillars who similarly absconded with the pun for his lede) I reached my own particular tipping point this weekend.

After a very nice steak dinner with some friends on Saturday night, I excused myself to use the men's room. Which was where I encountered my own particular tipping-related white whale: the bathroom attendant. After using the urinal, I moseyed over to the sinks, searching for the soap. The smiling elderly gentleman in the corner who was holding it insisted upon squirting it into my hands, before flicking the tap on for me. 30 awkward seconds later, I was looking around for some paper towel, when he sauntered up from the opposite side and threw one over my hands with a smile. Noticing the tip jar, and feeling guilty, I threw in a loonie and excused myself as fast as possible. Where I come from, $1 for holding soap hostage and spouting inane weather-related banter is pretty good non-work if you can get it. But I'm just relieved he wasn't around for the follow-up jiggle.

Having received both notably good and notably bad service in my life for a variety of tasks, I'm generally a pretty decent tipper. Barring some sort of calamity, waitresses, cabbies and barbers can be pretty much assured of a little something extra in the neighbourhood of 10-20%, after taxes, from me, for going above and beyond. But I draw the line at jobs being made up for unnecessary middle men in the service assembly line. Is this really a service somebody needed? Was anyone actually out there thinking "Boy, that was a great meal. The only thing that would have made my evening better was if some old dude was there to blow my hands dry after I peed, because I'm a deeply insecure big shot."

I don't even begrudge him his entrepreneurial spirit, but the restaurant? It seems like an asinine way to run a business. It's particularly mystifying in that there's no way this is a profit centre for the establishment. At best, it costs them nothing as the attendant is paid entirely via gratuities. But I certainly don't see how it's making any money for the restaurant or bar. Couldn't one make the argument that that's money that might have otherwise ended up in the bar's cash register had it not been taken by the bathroom attendant? What other business dreams up ways for its customers to give away money to other people while inside their location?

If the intention was to make patron's start budgeting their bathroom breaks, and deciding to go home early after calculating the ROI to be had from urination, mission accomplished. But in general, I think I'll frequent those Luddite places with do-it-yourself soap dispensers from now on. I love the retro.

Anyway, just had to share. If you liked this post, send me some money. It's rude not to.

Artis hikes distribution

Discolure: I own AX.UN

I guessed, when Artis announced yesterday they'd roughly doubled their annual revenue and profit that there might be another shoe to drop in the near future, and today, it did.

Artis upped their distribution today by 3 per cent, to 9 cents or $1.08 per year. In the last year, Artis has managed to lower their FFO ratio to a very impressive 65% (FFO stands for Funds From Operations, a key metric for REITS that basically indicates how much of their total cash flow gets paid out in distributions every month. The lower the ratio, the better, as it generally implies the distribution is safe, and in fact could probably stand to increase.)

I'd written recently about how I was thinking about selling my profitable stake in Artis, so this news is certainly welcome while I mull it over some more. Ultimately, I need to decide if those funds might be better spent somewhere else, but in the interim, it's nice to own a company that seems dedicated to growing dependably and profitably.

The contrarian view on dividends

Fun as it can be to read mainstream media stories about why your particular investing style is the one true faith, destined to bring you riches and a happy retirement, for me, one of the best things about the personal finance blogosphere is when you stumble upon something that calls into question some fact you've always taken for granted, and forces you to either rethink your strategy, or confirm you're on the right course.

Take me, for instance. In general, I like dividends. I'm becoming more of an indexer the more I play this investing game, but I'm still partial to companies that generate healthy amounts of dependable cash, and have a tendency to spin off some of that to me in the form of dividends.

That bias means I frequently miss out on gains from fast-growing, sexy stocks like Google, Lululemon, and RIM in favour of old economy stalwarts like Royal Bank, Canadian Pacific and BCE. I generally don't start kicking the tires on a company until it's reached a mature level where it doesn't need a ton of cash to reinvest into expanding the business, and can instead divert a fair chunk of profits towards investors in the form of dividends. I like companies that pay me to own them, essentially, and this always struck me a as a fairly conservative way to invest.

Andy Kessler disagrees. Far from being safe and staid, Kessler thinks I'm an idiot for buying companies stupid enough to admit they can't think of anything better to do with their money. In a piece that first ran in the Wall Street Journal and is now expanded on his blog, far from saying companies that pay dividends offer investors a margin of safety, Kessler lambastes them for essentially acknowledging they have little room to grow. As he puts it: "If they won’t invest in themselves, why should I?"

I actually interviewed Kessler once for a feature I was writing on investing in nanotechnology (sadly, it's since been lost on the cutting-room floor) and he's a colourful character. So I'm not surprised to hear him espousing such a contrarian view on something as seemingly benevolent as a dividend cheque. Indeed, it's not the first off-the-wall thing he's ever said: he might be the only man in America who doesn't think Warren Buffett's the kindly old Cherry-Coke-swilling genius we all assume him to be. According to Kessler, Warren Buffett hates your guts. (Of all the things he accuses Buffett of, I'm guessing he'd begrudgingly like the fact that at least Berkshire Hathaway doesn't pay a dividend...)

All in all, I don't think I'll be changing my style too much. I still like the fact that dividends have some sort of downside protection. It's all well and good to ride Google as it increases 600% from its IPO. But what goes up must ultimately come down. And I'd feel a lot better thinking about all the quarterly dividend cheques I've cashed in over the last decade when it dawns on me that my Biovail shares are worth half as much as they were 5 years ago.

Unions sue for EI overhaul

Some interesting news on the bete noire of this particular blog (and a few others) today: Ottawa's egregious $54-billion Employment Insurance surplus.

Click here to read my previous thoughts on EI, but the latest chapter is that a number of powerful labour unions are taking Ottawa all the way to the Supreme Court to complain that the government is knowingly taking too much in EI premiums, and using the funds to pay for other government programs.

From the CBC's story:

"The surplus has been used to pay down debt, It's been used to give tax cuts to large corporations and oil companies, it's been used for all sorts of other purposes but not for unemployment insurance," said Byers. "That's money that comes from workers and employers for unemployment insurance. It's not an extra tax, it's not to be spent on other things."

I doubt this will lead to any sort of substantive change, but it's nice to see this issue maintaining traction in the media.

Don't get me wrong -- by and large, I like what Paul Martin did to overhaul the system in the 1990s. And in principle, it's a program I'm glad we have, to give people peace of mind for when life throws them that 10-ton bag of lemons every once in a while. So it's exactly the type of program I don't mind paying for, per se.

But based on the number of people I know who work, pay into the system, and then have their payouts denied or ridiculously delayed, it's clear something has gone amiss. It's not supposed to be another level of taxation imposed upon anyone with the audacity to hold a job. But with a $54-billion surplus that grows larger every day, that's exactly what it's becoming.

I sincerely doubt this lawsuit is going to result in Canadians getting some sort of lump-sum refund cheque, but anything that makes the system closer to what it's theoretically designed to be is OK by me. I'll keep you posted on future developments.

Every little bit helps

I've gotta say, it's rare that one of the Big Banks comes up with a promotion that doesn't immediately make me raise my suspicious eyebrows, but I'm pretty impressed with Scotiabank's recent savings-incentive program, Bank the Rest.

Essentially, the program takes extra cash every time an enrolee makes a debit transaction from their chequing account and puts the difference into a high-interest savings account where it accrues a lot more interest that it would otherwise have done. The program can be set to round up to the nearest $1 or $5. If you spend $6.23 on lunch, for example, Scotia would take an extra 77 cents, round the transaction up to $7, and deposit the difference into a savings account for you. Best of all, it's free of charge. The net result? A banking customer who wouldn't otherwise have the discipline to save some rainy day funds gets an automatic savings account that build in tiny increments over time. In exchange, Scotiabank no doubt gets a few new members for its Money Master High Interest Savings account.

Obviously, this isn't the sort of program that a regular saver would find much use for. But I'm inclined to applaud Scotiabank's attempt to turn a few compulsive spenders into accidental savers.

If you find it difficult to find the will to put away a little excess cash every month, I'd encourage you to consider this program (especially if you're already a Scotiabank customer.) I promise, you won't notice the extra 90-odd cents every time you make a debit transaction. And you'll be amazed how quickly it can add up.

Boom and bust

OK. So you've no doubt heard the news that Canada's housing boom is slowing. "Canada's Housing Boom Officially Over," if memory serves, was the early headline on the Globe's story about resales tumbling 22% in Toronto during the first quarter (although I note they've since toned down the doomsaying a tad.)

As I've said before, as a non-owner looking to buy at some point in the relatively near future, I'm not holding my breath for an outright crash. Toronto is a vibrant city with a fairly strong, diverse economy and a growing population. All the elements for a natural increase in house prices are there. But that's not to say I don't look at charts like this and wonder where it's all headed.

Still, I'm not nearly as pessimistic as this U.S.-blogger is. As much as the schadenfreude drips off the page, I have a hard time arguing he doesn't make a few rational points.

Ultimately, I don't expect any pain here to be anywhere near as bad as it's been in pockets of the U.S. I raised my eyebrows at the advent of 30+ and 40+ year mortgages in Canada, but the fact is, they still remain a tiny part of the overall picture in Canada.

But as long as there are people like my real-estate obsessed colleague telling me how she's already "made" $11,000 on the condo she bought in March (because the identical unit one floor up just sold for that much more) I know there's still a ready supply of people looking to join the game, confident that the music isn't about to stop.

Depending on a greater fool than I to come along in a few years time and take it off my hands isn't the strategy for me. I'm going to wait and see how this plays out.