Hold the phone

I generally keep things investing-flavoured around here, but another side of my personal finances is on my mind at the moment.

My cellphone has died. Being a man, I'm apparently genetically predisposed to fall for all manner of technological doo-dads, but I really must say, when it comes to souped-up cellphones with cameras, colous, Internet access and ringtones, I could honestly care less. It's a purely utilitarian device for me: If I can use it to talk to people I want to talk to and it doesn’t cost me very much, it's my kind of cellphone. Anything else, and it's not.

You'd think it would be possible to get a no-bones cellphone in this country, but it's not. Canada's cellphone oligarchy has milked the country to full effect, working the system to the point where you have to sign up for long-term contracts and all sorts of bells and whistles you're unlikely to ever use, much less need.

Wireless number portability was a step in the right direction (indeed, it was a step the rest of the free world had already taken) but the fact of the matter is still that Canadians pay the highest cellphone rates in the world.

I'm actually not too put off by the monthly plan that I have, but I'm amazed by the headaches I'm undergoing trying to get a basic replacement unit. The carrier I've been with for more than three years is pushing me to sign up for another multiyear contract, so I'm tempted to switch carriers out of spite. My job has a better-than-average chance of relocation to a new city every once in a while, and the last thing I need to to have to pay Ted Rogers $30 a month for the privilege of having a useless cellphone.

I'm narrowing down my choices and it's looking like, thanks to Fido, this whole debacle won't actually end up costing me very much. But if anyone has any suggestions for a bare-bones, no contract cellphone plan in Toronto for around $30 a month, I'm all ears.