I'm in a rut

I'm in a bit of a professional rut. Thanks to the temporary nature of employment in the dead-tree medium, I changed jobs two months ago and I must admit, I haven't quite settled in yet. Part of it stems from the fact that I never wanted my last job to end. I enjoyed the work and my colleagues, so was left with a bit of a bad taste in my mouth for how it all ended -- with me not being given a full-time position after being assured for more than a year that it would all work out.

So, much like the romantic who's reluctant to open up his heart again, I've been remaining purposefully guarded at my new job, for fear of becoming attached to a positive situation because I'm convinced it's going to be snatched away from me at some point. I hesitate to say I've been "mailing it in" because I've been applying myself, but that sort of emotional detachment from work can't be good for long-term career advancement.

I've also found myself missing writing quite a bit. When I launched this blog, I didn't really see it as an opportunity to write, since I had a job where my everyday duties consisted of writing. But lately, my subsequent jobs have tended toward the editing side, and I'm increasingly finding this little corner of the Interwebs to be my only writing outlet. And no offense to the blogosphere, but that's just not going to cut it. I went into the media because it was the closest thing I could think of to having someone pay me to read newspapers all day, and it was one of the few gigs that involved writing in a meaningful way. I still freelance enough to keep the juices flowing, but I'm starting to miss doing it everyday. I worry I've sold myself short for the relative stability of something more buttoned down.

I guess this is all a convoluted way of saying I'm looking (passively, at this point) for a change. Maybe all I need is more responsibility at my current gig. Maybe finding new ways to keep myself engaged outside my 9-to-5 is called for. Maybe something more drastic -- I hear Australia's lovely, and I bet I'd be quite content working at this old rag.

Couple that with talk of scary adult stuff like mortgages and marriage, and part of me wants to screw it all, turn my condo downpayment into a travel fund and go on an adventure somewhere. But I'm sure it'll pass.

It usually does.